Do Black Women scare off Black Men
My girlfriend sent me an article with the above title it was pretty deep, and she asked me the question was it possible, that we as black women scare off potential black men. I told her yes, now I know that stating that is a controversial statement, and many will want me to turn in my card in the SBW (Super Black Women Club) yet if you here what I said and really think about it. It is quite possible just because of how we were raised
We as black woman are so used to holding the reigns in our private lives, that when we get into a relationship we don't want to give up that power. We don't want to acknowledge that a relationship takes work, and sometimes I don't always have to be the winner. Trust me sis I'm a strong black woman who has been in charge of her own life for a very long time. But what I've learned from my marriage is that all those skills I used to govern my OWN life are not the skills I need in my marriage. There is a LOT of COMPROMISE that takes place in a marriage. Look at that word careful and you will see the word PROMISE in there. Sometimes you have to PROMISE to yourself that you are going to treat this man with the respect he deserves, and PROMISE to yourself , that you are no less of a WOMAN for sometimes giving up the power. I've learned a lot from my marriage and I'm still learning, my husband loves that I am a strong black woman, that I am independent he says that is on of the things that attracted him as it would any man. A TRUE black man loves a STRONG black woman because that is an AWESOME team and that is what he needs in his life as he goes out and faces the world. He needs to know his woman has got his back. Black woman confuse the term MEEK and SUBMISSIVE for some reason they think it makes them less of a person and they will somehow become someones doormat. This causes a lot of conflict for woman who have controlled their own lives for so long, yet being MEEK doesn't make you weak, it makes you wise, it lets you know when to hold your tongue, and when to let things go. It does not mean you don't stand up for yourself or let people walk all over you, but you can be ASSERTIVE without acting out of your name. I don't mind serving my husband, why not----if I don't do it than who will, does that make me less of a woman, because I like to take care of my husband, and my household, or does that bring me closer to being the woman of Psalms. I love taking care of my husband it brings me joy and pride. I like making sure his clothes are clean, he has something to eat after working hard, that the house is taken care of, and that I'm ready for him. Does that make me less of a STRONG BLACK woman---or does that make me a smart woman taking care of my house. Hey financially I out do him right now and because I make the BIG BUCKS (lol) I have the right to make all the financial decisions right without having to consult him right. WRONG we discuss the finances in the house, bills, major purchases and future goals of our family and ourselves. Does that mean he tells me what to do-NO I am in a relationship and it's a join effort. Does that I mean I run to him for everything I purchase no - I have my own money for that---but I don't make him feel that he is less of a man because he doesn't pull the same that I do---that's what the world is there for---why should I the woman he MARRIED remind him of that----his home should be a place where he finds refuge from the world--not a place to avoid. Does this mean he gets all the benefits -NO- my husband cooks, cleans, grocery shops he is capable and does all the tings I can do and often does. Now remember I said a TRUE black man and if you are waiting on GOD for that man, he is going to send you that TRUE black man. Look for the original article. </span></span></p>
