Belonging
Belonging
Is it wrong to want to belong to somebody? Commonly known as being appropriately placed or situated.
The word still implies a level of possession. It removes humanity from the word and you become someone’s property. This definition would be hard for today’s woman to relate to. In this era of the of the strong feminist who have strived and conquered many obstacles, I feel like a tiny voice screaming against an ideal. When I say I miss belonging to a man, not as a possession, but in the security of being with the man I love.
I sit on my couch and battle with the definition of the word belonging and its implications about my femininity. It is something I have found myself wanting unconsciously with each passing day. This echo grows louder in my mind as I engage in a relationship that leaves me breathless. The security I feel with this man as his love reigns over me leaves me fighting daily with wanting to succumb to him totally.
The belonging I am thinking is the intimate exploration of emotions between two people who are willing to take the risk of wearing their emotions on their sleeves. It is the exposing of these emotions exclusively to each other, being naked to each other that connects deep within the spirit.
As I think of this I think of my mom, who is a strong black woman, and her husband. I think of her happiness as she has evolved from pure feminism to being purely feminine. When asked about belonging, she unabashedly says, “I belong to him and he belongs to me, we belong to each other”. I watch her as she looks at her husband, and I realize she has succumbed to the love of a man, and he has succumbed to her.
As I look out the window watching the rain drizzle I resolve myself to the meaning of the word belong. I realize he has given me this place to breathe. To be who I am: without apologies, or explanations. He has created a place of comfort in me and I have evolved. I feel the gentle strength of my man’s arms around my waist as he hugs me and I turn around to look at him. I think to myself…. I am – where I belong.
